Language of Responsibility

Language of Responsibility
by Tracy Harrington-Atkinson
on April 14, 2018

Language of ResponsibilityAll of us have those voices inside of ourselves that influence our attitudes and our behaviors. Some of these voices can be associated with positive behaviors that are positive and encouraging while others are negative and even demeaning. Choosing which voice we choose listen to influences our attitude.

There are two voices:
  • victim
  • creator
Listen to yourself or your student to hear their inner voice. Do they speak to themselves as a victim or a creator?

Victim Voices

There are two different kinds of victim of voices:
  • Inner Critic
  • Inner Defender

Inner Critic

The inner critic is the one that judges, blames, complains and demeans oneself. The self-talk is directed toward oneself.
The intention of the inner critic seems like it’s protecting themselves from that outside through some kind of self-criticism. However, it is wanting perfection in oneself. This type of victim never feels they are good enough, lacking in self-esteem. In addition to wanting to be perfect, the inner critic may also be desperate for the approval of others in order to avoid displeasure and Punishment
An example of this would be:
  • “Well, that was stupid.”
  • “I’m so stupid.”
  • “I never get anything right.”



Inner Defender

In contrast, there is the Inner Defender. The Inner Defender is going to blame somebody else, complain about somebody else or demean somebody else. The intention of the Inner Defender is simply to push off any punishment.

An idea of an Inner Defender would be:

  • “You didn’t give me all of the instructions.”
  • “I didn’t realize the test was today.”
  • “The communication get out.”
  • “You didn’t give us the right information.”
These kind of ideas belong to the Inner Defender.

Creator Voice

The Creator Voice is someone who has an inner guide who will accept responsibility for their actions and correct any negative consequences for mistakes and wrong-doings.
Some examples of the creator voice:
  • “I did this but I can know how to correct it.”
  • “I’m sorry that was my fault. Let me see what I can do to fix this.”
The creator voice will be an inner guide to give direction, objectives or a wise perspective about oneself and others. It doesn’t demean. It doesn’t attack. It tells the truth or at least the truth as best as perceived at that time. It allows people to be fully conscious of the world of other people and especially of themselves
The biggest difference is that victims and creators are going to see their world differently. As a result they use different vocabulary. You want to be able to guide your child, your student or yourself in a way to be able to modify damaging voices with a goal to change impressions of themselves from being a victim as either an inner critic or inner defender into a creator.
 By Tracy Atkinson

Tracy Harrington AtkinsonTracy Atkinson, mother of six, lives in the Midwest with her husband and spirited long-haired miniature dachshunds. She is a teacher, having taught elementary school to higher education, holding degrees in elementary education and a master’s in higher education. Her passion is researching, studying and investigating the attributes related to self-directed learners and learning styles. She speaks at conferences on learning styles and has published several titles, including MBTI Learning Styles: A Practical Approach, The Art of Learning Journals, Calais: The Annals of the Hidden, Lemosa: The Annals of the Hidden, Book Two, Rachel’s 8,   The Personal Pursuit of Perfection and Securing Your Tent. She is currently working on a non-fiction text exploring the attributes of self-directed learners: The Five Characteristics of Self-directed Learners. Check out her online courses at: Udemy.

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