49% of Americans state that they are more angry than they’ve ever been. Over what? Current events and news! (CBS News, 2016).
“Fifty-five percent of those who get their anger out online on social media say they’re now angrier than they used to be” (CBS News, 2016).
In 2016, hate crimes grew from 5,100 to 6,800 and 60% of these crimes were due to race and ethnicity (Washington Post, 2017).
Incredible even mind boggling statistics over racial hatred surround us in our news and social media. Encounters even occur in our daily interactions. All resulting in this monumental rise in anger.
Recently, I parked my car in the grocery store parking lot. My car, at the time, locked itself just as a young black man walked by. He flipped me off, adding, “I wouldn’t steal anything from your car.” I smiled and apologized, explaining the auto-lock feature on that model. Later, I passed him in the aisle of the store and we exchanged smiles. All had been forgiven.
I pondered this event at length. Why would he automatically assume I was locking my car because he was near?
Having been raised in the San Francisco bay area, I don’t recall caring or paying much attention to race. We were all human beings. We have the same emotions. The same body parts. Why does the color of skin matter?
Later in life, I lived abroad. I felt discrimination firsthand. I was shocked to see how other cultures felt about the American race. Hatred. Disappointment. Anger. As if Americans were a lesser race. Less intelligent. The fact was, they simply saw the American race as entitled and proud (not that good kind of pride). My eyes opened to learn my culture was considered rude, abrasive and ‘without culture’.
There is a simple solution to this racial hatred insanity. Understanding. How do we gain understanding? By experiencing different cultures. Or walking in someone else’s shoes -using that familiar adage. Experience is everything, but understanding is even greater. How can you gain an understanding of other cultures?
Great thinkers and philosophers have been trying to understand, their relationships, life and the reasons “why” everything else exists since the dawn of time.
First, pay attention to your own beliefs and values. Become self-aware. What do you say or do which may be contrived as a racial slur? Know the etymology of phrases and common adages. You’d be surprised how many are based in a racial slur. For example, have you used the word ‘jipped’? It’s a common word, used daily by some. But do you know the origins of this word? Jipped derives from gypsies, but especially when the Romani people moved from India to Europe. They were often mistaken for Egyptians due to the color of their skin, nicknamed ‘gypsies’. At some point, gypsies were cast into the role of being thieves or swindlers, creating the word ‘gypped’ or a more common spelling of ‘jipped’.
Learn. Not just in book but in experience. Know what you are saying. Pay attention to your surroundings. Listen. Observe. What do you see on a normal daily basis? My boss returned to work after a lunch break unhappy. In a checkout line, she offered to help a young lady with a screaming baby with her groceries. The offer was not received well. The young lady immediately assumed the offer of help came from an assumption that she was a teenage-unwed mother. My boss, being Jewish, defused the situation and expressed her own experiences with hatred. Pay attention to little things. If someone offers to open a door for you, just assume they are nice people. Quit reading more into it!
Experience other cultures. One of my favorite experiences of another culture came from a sweet neighbor. She periodically cooked unfamiliar foods from other nationalities. She’d invite neighbors and friends over to experience the cuisine while she also shared interesting facts and information. I loved it! She related a cultural experience.
During my fourth grade, the entire grade participated in a culture night. Each student chose a country and culture. After a few decades, I no longer recall the country or culture I chose, but I do remember the evening. Each student had a display of their country and made something edible from their country to share. Part of the evening handouts included a cookbook featuring the recipes from the evening. This was where my family was introduced to homemade won tons. I’d love to give credit to the student who brought them but over the decades the cookbook (printed with a ditto machine) and the memory in this aspect have also faded. (The recipe is at the end of this article.) This recipe continues to be a family favorite through now four generations!
Travel. This is my favorite way to learn of other cultures. I enjoy traveling. I’d like to have a passport filled with stamps when I leave this earth. Some of my favorite things have come through traveling. My journals are replete with pictures, sketches, stories and favorite things I heard. If you can’t travel due to expenses, don’t forget the travel sections in your library or bookstore. Follow a travel blog. Read National Geographic. Even looking at the pictures will inspire you to see magnificence. Just remember to keep an open mind!
Live with gratitude. Seems trite, huh? I subscribe to positive psychology, positive reinforcement and a life of positivity. Gratitude makes all the difference. When you’re grateful for life, especially other people, you will not judge them. You will not think or say racial slurs because you’re grateful for the other person. You’ll appreciate them. Gratitude and anger cannot live in the same place.
Avoid stereotyping. Does this seem elementary? It is. Just don’t do it. Along with those lines, be aware of what is stereotyping. Spend some time to know what it is. This will get you started:
“Stereotyping is when you judge a group of people who are different from you based on your own and/or others opinions and/or encounters” (Urban Dictionary).
Accept others and remember we’re all unique and different. I use this story frequently. It is my favorite. When we look at other people, cultures and races, recall there is no right or wrong. It is simply different. What does this mean? Close your eyes and think for a moment how you eat. Do you eat with your fork in your left hand or right hand?
There is a story which is probably more legend now about an American spy behind German enemy lines during World War II. As the spy sat down to eat, he ate in a customary American method of placing his fork in his right hand to cut a piece of meat. This simple mistake led to his demise as he was discovered.
Is eating with your fork in the right hand or the left-hand better? Some may argue one way is more efficient than the other, but neither is better. They are simply different.
That’s the foundation, isn’t it? It isn’t about right or wrong. We are all simply different, but when you take the time to notice the differences, don’t forget your have more alike than different. Two eyes. Two hands. One heart. One soul. Everyone cries. Everyone laughs. Next time you feel angry due to some racial dilemma, pause and recall that you both laugh the same.
Won Tons 
1/2 pound ground beef
1/4 c bamboo shoots, finely chopped
1/4 c water chestnuts, finely chopped
2 tsp chopped green onions
1/4 c chopped mushrooms
2 TB soy sauce
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp cornstarch
1 package won ton wrappers
oil
Combine all ingredients of filling thoroughly. Place about 1 teaspoon of filling in the center of the won ton wrapper. With a finger dipped in water, moisten the edges of the wrapper to help seal the edges. Fold over the wrapper so that an overlapping triangle is formed. Make sure the edges are sealed. Pull the two bottom corners of the wrapper together so that they meet. Moisten with water and seal the two corners together. Fry in hot oil (350 degrees) until the first side is brown. Turn. Brown second side. Drain on paper towel. Serve with sauce.
Won Ton Sweet and Sour Sauce
2/3 c brown sugar
2/3 c pineapple juice
1 tsp ketchup
1 tsp soy sauce
1/4 c vinegar
2 TB cornstarch
Mix the cornstarch and brown sugar in a saucepan. Gradually add the pineapple juice, stirring constantly. Add the remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil. The liquid will gradually solidify, becoming more like the consistency of jelly. Turn off until needed. Serve lukewarm.
Cited Works:
CBSNews. (2016). Poll: Anger in America – on race, gender, politics, police violence. Retrieved from: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/poll-anger-in-america-on-race-gender-politics-police-violence/
Urban Dictionary. (2018). Stereotyping. Retrieved from: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Stereotyping
Washington Post. (2017). Hate crimes in the United States increased last year, the FBI says. Retrieved from: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2017/11/13/hate-crimes-in-the-united-states-increased-last-year-the-fbi-says/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.3a9e245bc8c5
By Tracy Atkinson
Tracy Atkinson, mother of six, lives in the Midwest with her husband and spirited long-haired miniature dachshunds. She is a teacher, having taught elementary school to higher education, holding degrees in elementary education and a master’s in higher education and English. Her passion is teaching, researching, studying and enjoying time with her family. She has published several titles, including MBTI Learning Styles: A Practical Approach, Calais, Lemosa, The Art of Learning Journals, The Personal Pursuit of Progress., and The Successful Scholar: Preparation for Higher Education and Lifelong Learning. She also teaches and publishes courses at: Udemy, Teachable or Thinkific.
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