The fear of learning is simply because of a fear of failure. We have, inadvertently, taught our children to be scared of failure instead of learning from failure. This translates into a fear of learning. How did our children get to this point? They repeatedly received negative reinforcement, either from poor test scores or poor homework. They feel there isn’t a point to even bother with future homework because they won’t ‘get it anyway’ and do nothing. The lack of doing one’s best on a test and homework or even simply refusing to do it at all. A horrible cycle has been created. How does one change the cycle?
There are some simple things that every parent can do. First and foremost, be sure to talk to your child’s teacher or school administrator. Get them involved in the process. Let them help. They can be your greatest advocate in helping to change this negativity. Second, praise. Praise. PRAISE. I cannot emphasize this enough! Focus on the positive!
It is so difficult to focus on the positives at times, especially in teaching students or leading others. When I mopped the kitchen floor for the first time, I was about 8 years old. I was so proud of myself because I hadn’t had any help and hadn’t been asked to do it! When dad came home from work, I bounced up to him and told him what I had done. I grabbed his hand and drug him to the kitchen to show him the clean yet soaked floor. Dad jumped onto a kitchen chair and wobbled precariously like he was going to fall into an ‘ocean’ of water. Grabbing a second chair, he used them as stilts to walk to the refrigerator to get a drink. My entire family laughed, as did I. As I grew up, the scene has been repeated over and over. (Families are good at that -always recalling the embarrassing moments of our lives!) My proud moment became a moment of ridicule and jokes for decades to come.
I share -not to disgrace my family -but because I believe there are some powerful lessons to be learned. Even in jest, criticism can be hurtful. As parents and educators, we should never want or make a learning experience into a negative experience. Yet, they happen. My father would never intentionally hurt my feelings. He is my hero and has been my greatest support. (I carry with me in my planner a note that he mailed to me telling me how proud he is of me. It is one of my most precious possessions because my father has only written me two letters in my life.) But people do get offended. Our children do experience negative learning moments. So, what can we do to change their fear of learning into a joy?
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Here are some simple tricks:
- Acknowledge and praise small victories.
- Encourage curiosity.
- Provide positive learning experiences.
- Work alongside your child.
- Share your failures or disappointments and how you overcame them.
- Take a deep breath.
- Point out past positive learning experiences.
- Provide a peaceful, calm, inviting space to do homework.
There are few other things that I have used with my students which have been successful.
- Give them a special pencil/pen. This is a way to trick the mind. By using the same writing utensil on homework, the pencil then ‘knows’ the answers. This has been a successful trick to use from elementary school to higher education.
- Provide items of comfort. For one of my children, I provided a water bottle that sat on her desk. It helped her in unfamiliar or stressful circumstances.
- Be a positive example of learning. Show your passion for learning something new.
- Make learning a meaningful experience by integrating it into the child’s current circumstances. For instance, when teaching fractions, have your child cook with you and half or double recipes.
- Demonstrate that learning doesn’t have to happen just in a classroom.
- Make learning fun.
What things would you add to this list?
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