Yesterday, I sat with my son while he was doing his school work. Candidly, we discussed fears. He talked about how sometimes it is really difficult to do some things because of fear of being judged. This summer, he had a really difficult decision in his life – a decision that most 13 year old boys normally do not have to make. He was chastised, teased, harassed, bullied and picked on until he was nearly in tears, but he made a choice which was all his. He struggled with his choice and shared his thoughts with me. I told him that I would simply support him in his decision, no matter what he chose. My greatest wish for him was that he were to be happy and that I was very proud of him for being firm in his choices and beliefs.
Later, I pondered all of the ways in which I avoid fear and did not stand up to the pressures imposed upon me by others, worrying about their opinions. One of the greatest ways is that I have many books which I have written over the years. At one point, I had a publishing contract and was so excited but the deal fell through due to a bad economy, leaving me with more dread and fear of failure. Instead of following through with the advice from the publisher on how to proceed, I put the manuscript away. Yesterday, I decided that no matter what I was going to follow the lead of my courageous boy and make a decision. I was going to face fear.
I chose this manuscript to be first because it is my testimony of Christ. God and family come first in my life and therefore it seems only appropriate that it should come first in my career as well.